Heathrow Hikers - Outdoor Group for West London

From the Editor
Uffington White Horse & The Manger Walk
Geocaching - Heathrow Hiker Bear Update
Internet Humour - Kid's Books You Won't Remember
Easter trip to Cornwall
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April saw the group enjoying the Easter break in Cornwall. We were blessed with great weather, a great location and a fantastic group of people, including a hostel warden who felt like one of the family.

It was also a month that saw 3 day trips and a couple of social events. The social events were a trip to see an Asian inspired version of ‘Midsummer Night’s Dream’ and a meeting at a pub in Covent Garden. Since the formation of the committee we hope to be able to offer more social events, giving members new and old the chance to enjoy what London has to offer with like minded friends.

If you have an idea for a social event why not let our social secretaries know!

On April Fools Day the group found itself on a day walk starting in Uffington. It was only a short walk to the two most famous landmarks in the area, the chalk White Horse and a geological feature known as The Manger.

The Manger – Photo by Gary Box

Our circular walk continued clockwise in part on the long distance path known as the Ridgeway. The walk was only about 8 miles in total and it was not too long before we came to the rather grand sounding Compton Beauchamp House.

Being a Sunday and due to the fact that some of us had not brought a packed lunch we were keen to reach a pub called The White Horse at Woolstone. We were somewhat peeved to discover that it was closed! We could not understand it, surely Sunday lunchtime is one of the busiest times for a cute country pub like this?

The group continued on and it was not long before we found ourselves back at the start in Uffington.

Article submitted by Gary Box

At the end of the last issue our Bear was enjoying a glass of wine or three with minstrelcat. They finally parted company on the 6th April when our Bear’s new home became Peanut Tub cache, close to Cranbrook in Kent.

He was to remain there until the 19th April when St George and The Dragon found him, moving him on some days later to another cache close by.

At this time, with my Bear quite close, I decided it was time we were re-united. So on the 29th April I found him, a little more worn than when I had let him go. He had been travelling for a little over 2 years and in that time had covered over 2700 km.

All I need to do now is decide whether to let him retire or send him out on more adventures!

Article submitted by Gary Box

1. Eagles may soar high, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
2. Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
3. There may be no 'I' in team, but there's a 'ME' if you look hard enough.
4. Process and Procedure are the last hiding place of people without the wit and wisdom to do their job properly.
5. Remember that age and treachery will always triumph over youth and ability.
6. Never do today that which will become someone else’s responsibility tomorrow.
7. Every time you open your mouth you have this wonderful ability to continually confirm what I think.
8. Show me a good loser and I'll show you a LOSER!
9. Put the key of despair into the lock of apathy. Turn the knob of mediocrity slowly and open the gates of despondency - welcome to a day in the average office.
10. It's the team that matters. Where would The Beatles be without Ringo? If John got Yoko to play drums the history of music would be completely different.
11. What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter time he's got something to eat and he won't die. So, collecting nuts in the summer is worthwhile work. Every task you do at work think, would a squirrel do that? Think squirrels. Think nuts.
12. When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
13. Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.
14. If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.
15. If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the situation.
16. You don't have to be mad to work here! In fact we ask you to complete a medical questionnaire to ensure that you are not.
17. If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess that you're trying to get them sacked.
18. If at first you don't succeed, remove all evidence you ever tried.
19. You have to be 100% behind someone, before you can stab them in the back.
20. If work was so good, the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.
21. Those of you who think you know everything are annoying to those of us who do.
22. There's no 'I' in 'team'. But then there's no 'I' in 'useless smug colleague', either. And there's four in 'platitude-quoting idiot'. Go figure.
23. Know your limitations and be content with them. Too much ambition results in promotion to a job you can't do.
24. Make good use of your cylindrical filing unit, the one you mainly keep under your desk.
25. Quitters never win, winners never quit. But those who never win and never quit are idiots.
26. If you're gonna be late, then be late and not just 2 minutes - make it an hour and enjoy your breakfast.
27. Remember the 3 golden rules: 1. It was like that when I got here. 2. I didn't do it. 3. (To your Boss) I like your style.
28. The office is like an army, and I'm the field general. You're my footsoldiers and customer quality is the WAR!!!
29. Set out to leave the first vapour trail in the blue-sky scenario
30. Statistics are like a lamp-post to a drunken man - more for leaning on than illumination.
31. A problem shared is a problem halved, so is your problem really yours or just half of someone else’s?
32. Is your work done? Are all pigs fed, watered and ready to fly?....
33. You don't have to be mad to work here, but you do have to be on time, well presented, a team player, customer service focused and sober!!
34. I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, but it was just some b*stard with a torch, bringing me more work.
35. Avoid employing unlucky people - throw half of the pile of CVs in the bin without reading them.

Article submitted by Gary Box

After a very long drive, we arrived at our hostel in Perranporth… away from the main town, up on a cliff-top with amazing views over the ocean and town. Most of us were wondering whether we were still in England. Warm weather, blue skies, absolutely incredible sunsets… surely we’ve gone to another country??

View from Perranporth Hostel – Photo by Jen Harris

On Saturday morning the whole group set off on a walk along the South West Coast Path. Well, part of the Coast Path. It runs for 630 miles between Minehead in Somerset to Poole Harbour in Dorset, and the days weren’t quite that long yet! We walked about 12 miles of it, from Perranporth up to Newquay, past stunning coastal views under a clear blue sky.

Coastal Path Walk – Photo by Jen Harris

Once in Newquay, some went to the pub, some straight back to the hostel, and a few of us sampled the local cream tea in a café before having a wander around the local shops. A bus-ride later, we were back at our hostel-on-the-hill, having a few drinks and a Moroccan-inspired dinner organised by Ranmali.

Sunday was yet another stunningly beautiful day, and some of the group went horse-riding in the hills, while several of us went in search of some geocaches along the coast. One of them took a bit of searching, but we were successful in the end! A couple of us then spent the rest of the afternoon wandering and taking pics down on Perranporth beach.

Rock Arch on Perranporth Beach – Photo by Jen Harris

That evening we had a bit of a party, starting with the most beautifully vivid sunset. Phil, the hostel warden, joined us after his surf… which he gets to do most days. Must be one of the luckiest wardens around!!

Sunset view from hostel – Photo by Gary Box

Monday morning came and it was time to reluctantly leave our cliff-top haven and head back to London. To break up the journey, and do a bit more sightseeing, we stopped in Clovelly, North Devon. This picturesque seaside town is a favourite with tourists and was swarming with people. Cobbled streets head steeply downhill to the harbour past small shops and houses.

Clovelly – Photo by Gary Box

After a lovely lunch in a harbour-side café/restaurant, we forced ourselves back up the hill and finished the looong drive back home.

Article submitted by Jen Harris

If you have any articles or images you wish to contribute to the next issue of Compass please email them to the editor.

Please try and submit articles as early as possible but not later than the 3rd week of the month if you wish it to appear in the subsequent issue.

Thanks.